In recent weeks, my life has been looking up *touch wood*. I feel like I have settled nicely into a pretty great group of new friends and I've even rekindled some old friendships (*cough* possibly more to come on that shortly). I've got a few exciting occasions coming up such as birthdays of close ones, a family wedding and even a theatre trip for me and my mum (Carrie Hope Fletcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, yes please!) which means I've got things to set my sights on and look forward to. All of these things, and a few others, have left me feeling truly happy and content for the first time in, well, roughly about 6 years if I'm completely honest. As you can imagine, this has had a knock on effect on my eating habits. I worry less about my weight in a negative way because I have no time to think about it, plus all the exciting things I'm doing leave me hungry because I'm using my energy. Once I start it sets me off but when you have to remember in my case is (to an extent) this is healthy. I have suffered so poorly with my weight over time that it's actually good for me to eat that little bit more. (Side note - I actually went to my GP recently and was told that by the standards of BMI I am technically classed as underweight. Me gaining some weight is actually recommended, if not encouraged by my dr).
However, here's where the negativity begins to creep in. Those same people who constantly gave me stick for 'not eating enough', being 'ever so slim' and telling me 'girls are nicer with a bit of meat on them' are now going in the opposite direction. In the past couple of weeks I've been told I look pregnant (I don't by the way and I'm not), that I'm going to get fat and that no one will like me if I get a 'fat ass'. Truth is, I haven't even put on a single pound!
Now excuse me if I am being stupid here but can I win? I think the answer is no and I'm just learning to come to terms with it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Whether I starve myself, eat normally or eat excessively there will always be people there with something to say. As I've said before, weight/size needn't be commented on unless you are a trained GP. People need to accept that everyone is different and that people have their own hang ups without you commenting on their appearance. Some people are slimmer and some are larger - that's just how it goes. You also never know peoples whole story. Whether I lose weight, stay the same or put it on, I've decided I can no longer value the opinions of others because they will constantly tear me down. Instead I need to walk away and think to myself...
Sometimes, you just can't win.
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Disclaimer: This blog post is in no way sponsored and all opinions and photographs are my own. I do not wish to cause any offence, I am simply sharing my story.
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